https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog daily 1.0 2025-12-14 https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/prologue monthly 0.5 2021-03-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1607194367336-V7AOAH39SQWNEVYRQYD3/42D495C7-7577-4647-93BA-B41BEE54497C_1_105_c.jpg The Dying Process - Prologue IMAGINE mosaic Central Park - New York City https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/why-me-kubler-ross-stages-of-grief monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615221136890-UILLZ6X0IZ2SWW8OMNHG/DY6V4190-2.jpg The Dying Process - Why me? Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief Moonrise. When receiving a terminal diagnoses, the world can turn on its axis for the patient and their family and friends. Day seems to become night and night becomes day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1608232476633-9ES2T8DVQ90H22SCVQW1/IMG_2325-3.jpeg The Dying Process - Why me? Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief World turned upside down. Inverted trees in snow field, Cabinet Mountains, Montana. Receiving a terminal diagnosis flips perspectives - not only for the patient and their immediate family, but for an extended collective of others. Each person intertwined in the relationship with the terminally ill will need to navigate the stages of grief at their own pace. This can paradoxically create some challenging situations in which the ill patient must assist others in their navigation of the process. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-es445 monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1609899440863-HSZY85GVGRQHECJ9DZZR/IMG_6919.jpg The Dying Process - Every Journey is Individual Hiking a slot canyon in Utah. This photo captured the sentiment that the journey is personal and different for each of us. Hopefully each step facilitates movement along the stages of grief, moving us out of the shadows and into the sunlight. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1607194449068-NMSSKSC5M0WWZTJ3BACV/IMG_2725.jpg The Dying Process - Every Journey is Individual “Shadow-selfie” in the desert SW. I’ve never been one to take “selfies” with rare exceptions on solo summit hikes. Standing on the edge of a cliff at sunrise, my 5’6” frame cast a large 50’ shadow along the cliff face. The perspective is perhaps even more different as the rocks in the lower left are about 100’ below the shadow. The photo perspective is as unique as each of our journeys. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/test monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615318456881-SZTORP16MQL7BDOKVDH7/F7AB6A05-7003-4FC8-A5C7-7FDF8D92AD33_1_105_c.jpg The Dying Process - Becoming a Patient https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615222506965-TBQJ48Y1UFIGGMWV7Z43/650A4035.jpg The Dying Process - Becoming a Patient Sorry, we couldn’t resist. Losing the autonomy associated with entering the healthcare system is anxiety provoking at best, and incapacitating for some. We chose this juvenile bald eagle photo as the levity to ground us. It comes as a long standing inside joke involving an expensive river rescue on the Tatenshini River in Canada/Alaska. A Canadian heli pilot landed to give a hand, but only at an exorbitant price. At one point he noted “Yeah, it’s the shits man, but what can you say, Eh?’ So we’ve adopted this useful phrase to address the things that we must accept without losing positive energy to perseveration. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1607194597612-8G80NF4KEU4KKG4Y1EBZ/DY6V7240.jpg The Dying Process - Becoming a Patient Campfire on a starry night in south-central Oregon. While the terminal illness was obviously unwelcome, more disconcerting to me in these early stages were the erosion of several of the vertebrae in my back from the metastases creating a concern for paraplegia. Like the burning heat of the campfire, my attention was fixated on preventing this complication. Ironically, this dampened worries about the ultimate disease - captured in the placid water reflecting stars and the Milky Way rising above the fire. A treatment plan aimed at these goals was formulated quickly and radiation followed by a major back stabilization surgery allowed immediate focus during the initial months. My experience as a patient undergoing major surgery for the first time was far better than I had anticipated. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/blog-post-title-two-agrdr monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1607374620898-5QSAM11XAVJD2ALY8D6D/IMG_1509.jpeg The Dying Process - The Most Challenging Part of the Early Journey: Telling Others https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/blog-post-title-three-pcks3 monthly 0.5 2021-03-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1608232134295-H1IA0A2WTSMU2EVSPGJU/IMG_0270.jpeg The Dying Process - Addressing Guilt I took this photo of Robin and our dog Indy on a California beach. In a moment of sadness as in my mind it captured her future. I’m gone and she’s now soloing in the van with the dog. As she gazes out to sea, she knows I will not be coming back. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/bridging-the-distance monthly 0.5 2021-04-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615220349808-STZ8AFZWI02RDCWVN3WA/DY6V3100+2.jpg The Dying Process - Bridging the Distance Milky Way at moonrise. Bayview ID (deck shot). Our “bridge” to the cosmos. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615219322016-7ZVIZRK69KTBVTIO3ODM/4ADB5E94-2DB6-4189-BA88-06ACDCF6E033_1_105_c-2.jpg The Dying Process - Bridging the Distance Another natural bridge located in Arches National Park https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615219153938-GZTIJC7FTQNCNYDZG9N1/99F1A071-3BE4-474A-8D1D-8D8F95FD724B.jpg The Dying Process - Bridging the Distance A “natural bridge” in SE Utah. Connectiveness with each other and our world opens insights into the disease as well as our physical world. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/do-you-really-fight-or-battle-cancer monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615221626370-9J2WL094SDGXD8QKUOLS/650A2916-2.jpg The Dying Process - Do You Really Fight or Battle Cancer? Bald eagle in Bayview, Idaho. A national symbol of strength and perseverance. Also one of America’s most successful environmental interventions on the part of our avian partners. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1608232409367-87IORJFW6V2VTVQENXMV/IMG_8895-2+2-2.jpeg The Dying Process - Do You Really Fight or Battle Cancer? A storm cell passes through Bayview, Idaho at sunset. Many cancer patients likely ponder what’s happening in the perceived “battle” within them. Are my immune system and the cancer treatments attacking now, and if so are they winning a “battle”? Or is the cancer sneakily spreading and invading elsewhere? https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/living-in-the-moment monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1613595732766-EWBDSURHALZCPZ0MYC2Z/IMG_5461.jpg The Dying Process - Living in the Moment “For one minute, walk outside, stand there in silence, look up at the sky and contemplate how amazing life is.” ~Unknown https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615218797374-EIRCH1E4W4TRG5I87XU9/650A1311-2+6.jpg The Dying Process - Living in the Moment Great blue herons photographed at sunrise in Echo Canyon State Park in Nevada. The glow comes from reflected light of mountains in the distance. The serenity of watching these large birds settle in together over 30 minutes was a special time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1609898956969-OA2E152VPWTU4QXWQUT6/DSCN4735.jpg The Dying Process - Living in the Moment A calm day at Carey Point, the entrance to the Big Bras d’Or Lake in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. The serenity of calmly sitting on placid waters that are usually ruled by strong currents is difficult to explain to others. It afforded a “snapshot moment” to which I vividly return. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/good-life-good-death monthly 0.5 2021-03-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1611612593046-03MH669C40R5LP7K878L/IMG_0707+2.jpeg The Dying Process - Good Life - Good Death? The Rock Stack The layers of rock are obvious to all, part of the beauty found on our hike in The Wave, Coyote Buttes North. As I gazed on this, I saw a metaphor of my life. Each layer represents a foundation from which I have grown and developed. The broader base supports each progressive step. All of these were made possible through the time and effort of my teachers and mentors along the way, starting with family and progressively adding more and more people who were instrumental in making me the person that I am. Teachers, Scout leaders, Coaches, Professors, and Friends all contributed to each foundation layer. They inspired, implored, explored, challenged and assisted in building each layer. Teaching is at its root a selfless form of sharing. The cracks and crags represent the missteps and mistakes along the way, each affording an opportunity for introspection, growth and resilience. My teachers provided me with my layers of foundations and my most important treasures. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1608232352928-8INSPGQCWVGGIRTQJISW/IMG_6648-2.jpeg The Dying Process - Good Life - Good Death? Doorway to the Next Journey. Abandoned mining cabin, Death Valley National Park. Many viewers see a spiritual overtone in this photo. An old and aging, decrepit dwelling that once housed a life (or lives) filled with hopes and experiences. While the structure has lost its vitality and ability to shelter, the open door affords a vista of what the next journey may entail. What adventures await? https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/the-journey-can-keep-growing-exciting monthly 0.5 2021-03-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1610405276905-FJHM5GXZN1AXMSND1V18/5FF840A1-8F19-4929-9203-89748B0115BE_1_105_c.jpg The Dying Process - The Journey Can Keep Growing Exciting I like the juxtaposition of the kayak and the restored Blue Nose Schooner taken from our campsite in Cape Breton Highlands National Park, Nova Scotia. Each affords a unique perspective of the journey. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1613520522936-KCSTCJGPMBGJ2SZANUC3/IMG_0915-2.jpeg The Dying Process - The Journey Can Keep Growing Exciting “There is a road, no simple highway Between the dawn and the dark of night And if you go, no one may follow That path is for your steps alone. ~ “Ripple” Jerry Garcia/Robert Hunter https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615219486957-21MCJ58SAMS5E9WGUK5P/00000183_img_0034.jpg The Dying Process - The Journey Can Keep Growing Exciting Approaching changes in weather, Mt St Helens in the background, while climbing Mt Adams. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1611612280441-S6EWUJMJ7KL6Q50CNU2Q/IMG_0526.jpeg The Dying Process - The Journey Can Keep Growing Exciting The Dead Tree Many will see only a dead tree. I see a story. A repetitive cycle of amazing experiences. On a hike today in the scenic southwest, I came across this scene and it resonated with me. A dead conifer set against an colorful array of eroding rock. This tree found life, extracted water, minerals and nourishment from the sun and the earth, grew, and in doing so provided shelter and sustenance to others. It added beauty to this wonderful landscape. It witnessed life pass around it for many years. It sowed others. It weathered snow, sleet, hail, and scorching heat. And then it was its time. This tree now will release what it has borrowed back to the earth and sky. And these building blocks will be the foundation for the cycle of new life. Like this tree, I will release my building blocks back to the earth and sky. I have witnessed tremendous beauty along my journey, so different yet so much like this tree. I’ve had an opportunity to share, teach, nourish and fully experience the wonder of life. I am grateful for all of this. Who could have asked for more? ~ Carey Chisholm https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/setting-things-in-order monthly 0.5 2021-03-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1610406649122-I9XLKXBQQ5MCQ14RPKGU/IMG_5252.jpg The Dying Process - Setting Final Things in Order Balboa Park, San Diego. I love the symmetry, contrasting shadows and order of this open air walkway, as well as the mystery of what lies ahead. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615242086806-6Z9RPYO1VT2PJXWGDIB2/98B63E60-2946-4F52-85A8-BD5018FD77A7_1_105_c.jpg The Dying Process - Setting Final Things in Order Newfoundland, Canada One of our top 5 campsites. We had our own beach, waterfall, and the rhythms of the surf with whales sounding just off shore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1610406478184-QB4YRXZTHF7YKHCLMOC4/918ACA9B-4870-4E23-807F-43774903B9F0.jpg The Dying Process - Setting Final Things in Order Inverted deck chairs, Staten Island Ferry. More symmetry, although turned upside down. While no one wants the task of getting “things in order”, the process is really an act of love for those in the aftermath of your death. Take the time to facilitate this and make it as easy as possible for them. This will allow more energy for the grieving process and happy memories. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/for-every-tear-a-hundred-smiles monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1608231209576-U16GPVFU21LQ4Y84USO4/650A9078.jpeg The Dying Process - For Every Tear, a Hundred Smiles “Tank” our Maine Coon cat who became my “pet soulmate.” A gentle giant and escape artist, he made a dash one day and never came back, likely killed by a predator. The lack of closure perpetuated the grieving process, but provided empathy for families of lost or missing persons. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615321797661-LT7MY09DOJDS4S56XIRK/IMG_2985.jpg The Dying Process - For Every Tear, a Hundred Smiles Sunset on the California Coast https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1608231186246-IHWKY5WS14YJVQGK86SS/IMG_2855.jpg The Dying Process - For Every Tear, a Hundred Smiles Colleague and close friend Kevin Rodgers, MD pictured here with me in our medical simulation lab. Kevin was a homicide victim in a home invasion at his house in Nov 2017. His unexpected death sent shock waves through all who knew him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1608231165347-QVFI1LOC18JXIKXSUC7Y/P6070247.jpeg The Dying Process - For Every Tear, a Hundred Smiles In addition to being a gifted clinician and medical educator, Kevin was an outstanding chef (seen here cooking his famous crab cakes at one of our residency retreats). Kevin taught me much about cooking, and spurred me to “up my game” quite a bit over the years. We both view cooking as an expression of love for others. Our homes were often opened to large groups for whom we cooked. The logistics of procurement, prep, cooking and clean-up afforded an element of control for two docs working in Emergency Departments where so many things were beyond control (such as the numbers and seriousness of illnesses of patients arriving for care). But most of all I recall the loud, vivrant chatter of participants and their smiles and laughter. Kevin served as the chef at our eldest daughter’s rehearsal dinner and wedding dinner. https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/legacy monthly 0.5 2021-04-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1612465930241-5N6RSIZBVUYCG09WF0YD/IMG_2517.jpg The Dying Process - Legacy Kevin and Carey at the annual Resident Gala https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1616264149783-KEC838RBFBDIZJW062H1/Vrablicks+and+Carey.jpg The Dying Process - Legacy Boating on Lake Pend Oreille https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1612465414573-F9GDE40AV0LCYVD5JR9I/42DC5257-BB70-4CCB-BC2E-695B9BA0BC0F_1_105_c.jpg The Dying Process - Legacy A shadow selfie by Carey during a backpacking trip in southwest Utah. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1612465844594-UBQ9XK2Q2ATUH7CAHBUW/IMG_0119+2.jpg The Dying Process - Legacy Kevin and Carey shortly after Kevin came to IUEM https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/last-hugs-and-saying-goodbye monthly 0.5 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615241738118-DDMO0I1G22RFJ61KQ6L4/10+x+14+crop+goats.jpg The Dying Process - Last Hugs and Saying Goodbye Mountain goats Lake Pend Oreille, Idaho https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615129688231-BT694DC5XF3NC8Y1P99I/IMG_0134.jpeg The Dying Process - Last Hugs and Saying Goodbye Sandstone formation, Southeast Utah https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/blog/epilogue monthly 0.5 2025-12-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/8c3e02cc-d29e-4e7b-9471-a8445e52b976/IMG_0229.jpeg The Dying Process - Epilogue - Make it stand out Guardian Elephant Rock in Valley of Fire State Park https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1612469316032-7EA2RS27S9A84A1XNCYX/IMG_7046+2.jpg The Dying Process - Epilogue “The Heart” Upper Antelope Canyon. The Navajo Nation https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615218422160-I7RUTEN9VT6BDMSASTDZ/DY6V6608-4.jpg The Dying Process - Epilogue The Labor Day fire in Bayview, Idaho taken from our deck. The fire represents the cancer that consumes my body. The smoke of my cremated body flows across the Milky Way, starting my new journey of rejoining the cosmos. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/c21f4803-58f1-49df-a003-2b788f87448a/IMG_0836.jpeg The Dying Process - Epilogue - Make it stand out Browne Family Winery - Do Epic Shit. A good message and a good wine to toast the life of a man whose light was so bright it will shine forever in all those he touched. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/860a20a7-5ec7-4ab8-a131-9818fdd7e3a8/13B372B7-1C5D-417F-A636-05C4E704FC07.jpeg The Dying Process - Epilogue - Make it stand out Christmas “Who done it” in 2020. COVID made it difficult but not impossible to be together with some careful planning. Carey wanted to wear his red suit one more time. He didn’t know then that he would wear it again. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/e8905d85-faeb-4348-a2e9-601740bb5700/IMG_0815.jpeg The Dying Process - Epilogue - Make it stand out Strathcona Provincial Park - Vancouver Island Canada. This is the site of our first date - an unforgettable backpacking trip in 1980. The weather was much better in 2022. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1609900116389-92ES09F43QASZAL177LX/DSCN4194.jpg The Dying Process - Epilogue Carey celebrating the beauty of a developing sunset. “What is life? It is a flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is in the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself at sunset.” ~ Crowfoot Blackfeet https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/aboutus daily 0.75 2022-06-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615169475592-HZSVDINKJXW9ZG8T7JKV/5E0744FB-D3CB-4C77-A23E-83BE344B4CF5.JPG About Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1613522060997-7BMB8U40Z241MBHODO4G/IMG_1730.jpeg About Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615323453290-UJ0KIWKF05SX1IID9CV4/IMG_20160408_182429.jpg About Us Kelsey and her dog Nymeria https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615267015480-M8B48FOVBA4GFCASQHNW/IMG_0464.jpeg About Us Robin & Indy in Giant Sequoia National Monument https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/7d3d1676-1a6a-4e61-93b9-4d1565c08255/20190625_110445.jpg About Us Tyler and Carey on top of Scotchman Peak (ID) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1616607167331-EPSCW4T0C1VC9BMUB67V/20200917_220020.jpg About Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1615313272119-TM06EK2GSZXUYPQ2JGDI/IMG_8399.jpg About Us https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/riding-the-wave daily 0.75 2021-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fbe96fc1c8c7413142385fd/1611690990382-BY93KKEFT2IOE8FDBDFM/00FEB009-FDF6-4556-AB14-6374B462C3AC_1_105_c.jpg Riding the Wave https://www.cdconlivinganddying.com/resources daily 0.75 2022-06-09